I really don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I need to snap out of it.
If you get mad that I don’t reply to you for a couple hours and we’re not even dating… I’ll never date you then. People need their space. I’m not yours. Get over it.
I’m sorry I’m letting you down, but I have to do what’s best for me. My friends, the band and work is what I’m focusing on. I wouldn’t even focus on work if I didn’t need the money. School is coming up as well. I just don’t have enough time for you. I’ve learned to focus on myself before any girl. This band is so important to me. It’s coming before anything; before work, school, and especially before a girl. I can’t be yours right now and everyone needs to stop making me feel like shit for it.
Sometimes I really miss you as a friend. For example, I just got in a huge debate with an ignorant Christian and I owned her with facts and intellect while she made herself look more ignorant. She’s going to pray for me. Hilarious. You would have been laughing just as hard as I was if you had been there. I have three best friends, but the truth is you were like a fourth best friend of mine.
I love the way you fight for me. You’re way too fucking good for me though. I’ve already hurt you a few times and you’re still fighting for me even though everyone is fighting to have you. Why me? Why an asshole like myself over all of them? You’re the most genuine girl I’ve ever met. You deserve the best; not some jerk such as myself.